How much thought do you give into visiting others, and having guests? Is it something you look forward to or is it actually a little stressful?

In the old days you had to receive your guests in a certain manner because it was seen as quite dangerous and a big deal traveling to visit family or friends.

The Host You Want To Visit

I like to watch Kylie Flavell on YouTube. Her estetics speaks to me, her and her husband seems sweet and genuine and especially the “Renovating A Ruin” series ignites my own dream of experiencing Tuscany and appreciating history and another architecture and style than what I’m used to seeing in Denmark. But why I am bringing this up now, you might think?

Well it seems to me that Kylie makes a great deal out of having guests. She cooks days in advance and if you are into food and slow cinematic cooking – those videos are definitely worth watching as well. I love food and enjoy eating delicious meals but I am not good at cooking or maybe I just don’t have the interest because I’d rather spend my time on something else. BUT her videos makes me want to try it out and I did actually bake a delicious chocolate cake once following her recipe. Okay, I got a bit sidetracked… Back to the topic!

I would love to be a guest at Kylie’s and I’m absolutely sure she’s a dream hostess but I wouldn’t want her to be my guest afterwards – no offence intended. I just wouldn’t be able to live up to that standard which makes it a good example for what I’m trying to say with this post…

People are so different (luckily). We each have our forces and passions which will affect how we tend to host our guests. And hopefully we are not visiting each other to be treated as royals but because we enjoy each other’s company.

With that said though I think it’s important to make people feel welcome in your home and never let them feel like they are in your way or stressing you out… But in order to do that we have to be self aware.

I see a pattern of people feeling like they have to do “this and that” (it could be making the guest room seem like a hotel room or just cook even though they actually don’t like to cook) when they have guests. But me personally, I don’t like it when people do things for me if I feel like they don’t enjoy it or it stresses them out… And I also feel really bad if I catch myself giving of vibes that I don’t enjoy my guests being there.

We can’t control how we feel but we can try to give it some thought and figure out in which unique way we could have guests without feeling stressed and still making them feel welcome and relaxed.

The Guest You Want

The other half of it is being the guest. Do we expect others to treat us the same way as we treat them when the roles are reversed? Do we give to get? Or do we act like we wish our guests would act? Maybe asks if we can help, offers to make dinner one night, buys lunch or bring a cake for the coffee?

Again some will want their guests to do absolutely nothing and might get stressed by someone else using their kitchen and others for whom being in the kitchen can get a bit overwhelming might appreciate a little help or at least just feeling like “we’re in it together”. I’m sure depending on age or social norms you also do things differently in certain friend groups or families.

Let’s face it; It’s a jungle with no rules but plenty of danger zones. The danger zones here being drawing the attention away from what I think is the actual purpose of having guests; to enjoy each other’s company.

Being selfless but with an aspect of selfawareness

It’s about not doing things you don’t want to do as a host but finding the things you actually like doing to make your guests feel welcome… and maybe having a little expectations check-in in advance. It’s about having the mindset that your guests are the ones out of their comfort zone, they did their part by traveling to see you and your award is to spend time with them and the honor of being able to make others comfortable; making moments together that are worth repeating and will have a positive effect afterwards.

And then being able to turn it around (and not expecting others to have your perspective) when you are the guest… Thinking that people invited you into their home, into their safe space. Knowing that having guests is twice as much house work as normal. Offering to do those small things you don’t mind doing anyway. Openly appreciating whatever gestures you meet and respecting the house rules to ensure not putting any (further) stress upon your host.

Eyes on the price; Enjoy the company and your time together… because if you don’t, what is the point of visiting each other?

And the best way to do this might just be finding your own way of good gesture through selflessness and self awareness.

Do you agree with some of my points? Or do you have a completely other take on “the guest you want and the host you want to visit”?

The atmospheric photos in this post is from a Chateau in South Of France where we lived during our inspiration trips with Creative Lifestyle. Our hostess was Oline whom we made an interview with in Magazine number 3. Oline is one of my favorite hostesses and a very dear friend today.